oldschoolpatriot | On The Road Again - RP for fbitchesgtmoney

Five miles into Kansas Steve’s bike coughed, jerked hard left and then started to putter off. He pulled over to the side of the road with the bike fighting him and shut it off. After stepping off he stared at the engine like he could intuit what was wrong with it. He should have paid more attention when Howard complained about the abuse his put his old bike through.

And he should have probably stayed off that back road in Virginia and avoided that bit of off-roading he did in Illinois. SHIELD made a good bike, but he rode his a little harder than most people. It had felt good though, getting out after all that time he locked himself away from the world. After the fight in New York, saving the world, he had realized just how isolated and closed off he had become. Going across the country on his bike was turning out to be a great was to rediscover the people he fought for and the country he stood for.

Or it had been until his bike broke down. He could pick up his Army duffle and his shield then start walking. He had passed through a town maybe two miles ago. It would be a nice walk but he didn’t want to leave his bike here in the middle of nowhere. He could try to fix it, but he would probably only make it worse before he fixed it, if he fixed it at all.

There was only one thing he could think of. He pulled out his phone and called Tony. There was the usual teasing, of course, but now it made Steve smile fondly and roll his eyes instead of leaving him feeling exasperated. Once the teasing was over Tony promised to come help him so Steve sat backwards on the bike and leaned back against the gas tank to wait.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

fbitchesgtmoney

The past few weeks had been, well, a roller coaster to put it simply, and rather accurately. The past one being a set of triple loops that had thrown his thoughts and feelings all together in a mess that he needed to sort out. They were like Christmas lights when you're trying to decorate the tree. Tangled together to the point where he just wanted to throw them all out.

Between finding out that SHIELD had been trying to replicate HYDRA's weapons, to Loki's big grand attack, the death of Agent Coulson, and then the two God's leaving, he hadn't been surprised when everyone wanted to go their separate ways. He had, however, been surprised that Fury had let them go. But he was starting to realise that Fury had to answer to someone too, that much had become clear when they had gone to save the island, and an atomic bomb had been sent to destroy it, with them still on it. Who Fury answered too, or rather, who Fury was supposed to answer to but didn't, had been filed away to be reopened later when he wanted to think about it, but for the time being he didn't.

He had really been trying to think minimally about the Avengers. Of course his mind wandered to Steve, but Steve was different. Steve was outside, and while he wanted to be with him, he felt it was right to let him go off on his own. He had his number, but he needed to explore the country on his own terms. Tony on the other hand started to immerse himself with work again, as well as turning to the bottle more often than not at night, but that was for him to deal with.

That was why he had been sort of happy when Steve had called him. He was sure Steve could have easily run in each direction to find someone else who could help him, or used his phone to find a map, but he hadn't, and so Tony wasn't going to comment on that anymore. Instead he was going to help, and the easiest way to do that was to don the suit. It would also be an ideal time to retest the Mark VII, after he had rebuilt it and tweaked it, it should be easy to take off as well, which meant he would be able to get out of it once he found Steve. That was if the other wanted to do anything more than fix his bike, but that was to be seen.

Alright, so he took a bit longer than the mentioned fifteen minutes, but that had been a ballpark estimate. It was closer to thirty when he finally landed, but that was only because he had realised that he hadn't showered for a few days, and jumped in for five minutes before leaving. So now Steve would be getting a clean ,fresh smelling Tony smiling brightly at him as he flipped up the visor) So how did you break it?

From:

oldschoolpatriot

[He heard the Iron Man suit before he saw it. It took Tony longer than he said, but Steve trusted he would come to help so he was fine with waiting. He hadn't seen Tony in awhile and wasn't sure what to expect. The suit was a familiar, welcoming sight but he wouldn't tell if Tony himself was fine.

He sat up in Tony landed and swung his leg around to face him.] I took it off-roading in a few places. Probably not a good idea.

From:

fbitchesgtmoney

No, Tony wasn't fine. The truth was he was far from fine. He had meant what he said when he said that they weren't soldiers. That included Coulson. An agent, yes, but they weren't all soldiers. And it had brought up ugly memories of his time in Afghanistan. It had made him think of Yinsen, the man who had given his life for him, and who he could never possibly thank, the same way Coulson had given his life for the Avengers.

"This wasn't built for off-roading." He gave Steve an affectionate smile as he spoke, the suit seeming to fold in on itself from the top down, and soon he was stepping from it and towards the bike as it boxed itself up. He knelt down and frowned a bit, muttering. "The suspensions fucked."

From:

oldschoolpatriot

"I realized that already." Steve looked him over, trying to gauge how Tony looked. He was clean shaven, looked clean and yet he didn't look too healthy. He looked like he was overworking again, probably not taking care of himself. Steve mentally frowned. That wasn't a good sign.

He crouched down next to Tony, trying to see what he saw. "I didn't take you away from anything important did I? I just thought of you first when I had a problem."

From:

fbitchesgtmoney

"Well, I wasn't sure how much you knew about it." Tony looked...like Tony. But entirely like public persona Tony. Not the Tony he had seen a glimpse of in the helicarrier. The one who had been reminded that people weren't robots, and that if they broke, they couldn't be fixed. That had been a reminder to why he rarely formed bonds with people he couldn't fix. He ate when Dummy or JARVIS insisted on it, though hardly nutritious food at that, and rarely went out. The spotlight on him had shifted - it had been different when he had been the lone Iron Man. The questions they were currently asking hit too close to home, too soon. And so he avoided them.

"I was the right person to call," he replied, muttering to himself as he got up and went back to the suit, pulling a small tool kit from a compartment, an addition he had added last minute. He went back to the bike then and started to tweak, muttering to himself. "I was just working on some upgrades for Dummy."

From:

oldschoolpatriot

"I can generally tell when I've broken something." Steve shrugged, wondering how to approach the topic of New York and what happenedon the helicarrier. He didn't want to start a fight so soon after seeing Tony again, but he knew they would have to talk about it eventually. It clear clear to him Ton needed help from someone who had lost men and friends to war.

Steve sat down and leaned against the bike while Tony worked, watching him closely. He couldn't help but grin at the mention of his favorite robot. "Yeah? How is Dummy? Does he miss me?"

From:

fbitchesgtmoney

"Understandable. But that's just the first of your problems." He is frowning as he starts to tinker, pulling out a part that looks completely twisted, and drops it onto the ground. New York...well. If Tony had it his way they would never speak of it again. They had clashed then, and hard - heads butting against each other to the point where Tony had been close to punching the other in the face. But he did wonder whether the tension had been Loki's doing. Which was why he wanted to just ignore it all, and forget it. Not that he could really forget it, but he could pretend. And suppress. And that was better than dealing with feelings.

"I think he does. I'm a bit disturbed by it." But there was a bit of a smile on his face as he said that. "He tries to make me play catch with him."

From:

oldschoolpatriot

"So I really trashed it, huh?" He looked quilty for abusing the poor bike. He had just assumed it was as tough as his old one from the war. That thing had taken bullets and kept going, probably because Howard had built it himself. Maybe it was his way of dealing with New York and the fall out from everything. He should have stuck with beating up punching bags, those were a little more suited to his abuse. One day, though he'd talk to Tony about it. There was a lot that was said between them that needed to be fixed.

"Aw. I miss the guy too." He grinned, thinking fondly of the robot and their games. Then he was grinning at Tony, his expression a little softer but no less fond. "I've missed you too."

From:

fbitchesgtmoney

"Hm. Well. You've definitely trashed it. But it's not beyond repair. I think they gave you just a standard issue one. Meant for driving around the city." Tony had to laugh when he saw the look on Steve's face. The one he had had during the war was quite a different build than this one, he could see that from just looking at it. But he would soon enough be done with that bike, so Steve could abuse it as much as he wanted, and hopefully it wouldn't break down like this. Tony was glad Steve had decided to do something for himself. Even if things had been left a bit cold between them. Or heated. Whichever way you wanted to say it. Not good.

Tony dropped his gaze for a moment when he saw Steve grinning. It made his heart do a skip, and he wasn't sure how he felt about it. But then he was talking to him again, and he glanced up, a hand moving up to rub the back of his neck. "I...it's been weird without you." Which would be the Tony Stark way of saying he missed him too.

From:

oldschoolpatriot

Steve felt like apologizing to the bike. He restrained himself because Tony would tease him if he did. The bike wasn't a robot like Dummy that had feelings and emotions. "They probably should have told me that when they handed over the keys. I would have been more careful." Of course, he would take more care with the bike Tony made for him. That was something special. Although, that would could stand up to the abuse he could put a bike through outside a battle situation. This roadtrip had been enough to kill the other one.

"Weird how?" Steve raised an eyebrow at Tony. "Has Jarvis been the only one taking care of you?" He suspected that was the case, maybe with Dummy helping out. He may have been gone for awhile, but he still knew the signs of Tony not taking care of himself.

From:

fbitchesgtmoney

"I don't think they expected you to be driving it off road when you said you were going cross country. They probably assumed you'd do a nice highway 66 drive." Tony was laughing as he started to tinker with it, muttering to himself as he pulled out a few more pieces that were crushed, and started to work whether he could fix it then and there or not. Thus far it seemed bleak. "I think I'm going to need some parts. We should call a car."

"Well you're not there." Which is weird when he's been spending so much time with him. He frowned a bit at the question, debating on just avoiding it entirely, but that would definitely give the truth away. "Pepper's dropped by with work."

From:

oldschoolpatriot

"I took 66 for awhile, but I got bored. Sometimes I just saw a really nice looking back road and took it." He shrugged. It was pretty much his whole thought process on this trip. He just drove. It was relaxing, just him, the bike and the country side. The quiet hotel rooms were a little troubling some night. There was no Jarvis to tell him the day and year and it took just a little longer to shake off the feeling he was back in time again. "I only really wanted to see Arlington and then I was just heading west. Sorry about that."

"Miss Potts also dropped by with food I hope." At least it was something. Steve would have to start calling Tony more, to nag him into eating if he needed it and he would need it. Maybe he could plan something with Jarvis so the AI would alert him when Tony needed care.

From:

fbitchesgtmoney

"Huh. I've never thought about driving that way. It's more of a getting from point A to point B for me." Tony had never really taken to driving. He wanted to get to wherever he needed to be as quickly as he could, as that would always give him more time to do the things he liked at the destination. Enjoying the ride wasn't a practiced measure for him. But he did find it a bit sweet to think that Steve just wanted to see the American countryside. "What's so special about Arlington?" He's trying to think of something, but coming up blank. "It's no problem, Steve."

"She mostly brings paperwork," he replied, standing up with a huff and pulling his cellphone out, making a quick call, and confirming that a tow truck would be arriving for them in about 45 minutes. They really were in the middle of nowhere, and he relayed that to Steve before leaning against the bike again. "I can feed myself."

From:

oldschoolpatriot

"I didn't really have a Point B in mind. I thought I'd get to California and then figure out what to do next." Steve was on the road trip not to go anywhere specific but to find something he lost in himself right before Loki and the fight in New York. There was a reason he was Captain America and he needed to see it again and find it. "Most of the Commandos are buried there. Bucky's buried there." Most of his friends were buried there. He had to say goodbye, like he had with Peggy.

Steve adding calling Miss Potts to his mental list of things to do. She would give him a real update on how Tony was doing and he could convince her to bring food and maybe nag a little more. "I know you're capable, but you just don't seem to remember to eat something."

From:

fbitchesgtmoney

"Then that's where we're very different. I always have a point B." But he nodded along as Steve spoke. He could admire him for that -for going off and seeing where the road took him. Tony had just never been able to afford that. Too much responsibility rested on his shoulders, and even though he sometimes acted as if there was none, it was always there, and he knew how to bare the burden. "Oh, right. That. I can understand why you want to go there now." Still. there's the slightest of frowns. He could have so easily taken a jet. But he wasn't going to comment on that. "They should be able to fix your bike in a day."

The only problem with that plan was that nagging generally made it worse - it at least made him more irritable, which meant that he would try to block her out from accessing him period. "I've been eating." Just not as much as normal.

From:

oldschoolpatriot

"Well, I have a Point B in battle and I've got a few life goals but in this I was just... going." He was always going to go back though. When he ran out of America to see, he was going back to New York, the Avengers and yes, Tony. He didn't really had anywhere else to go and the one place that always mattered was New York. The Avengers were something good he could to. Tony was... Tony was becoming something in his life, a force he didn't yet understand but wanted. "It was good to see the place. Though the memorial to Captain America was a little awkward." He chuckled a little thinking back to that. "I guess you'll go back to New York?"

Steve had to try something. If Miss Pott couldn't do anything, maybe he'd have to go back. He wasn't going to let Tony waste away. "That's good." But it wasn't enough and Steve didn't know what to do to make it better.

From:

fbitchesgtmoney

"Ah, well. It must be nice to have the freedom to be able to just go." And now he had to try to cover up the bitter tone in his voice with a laugh and a shake of the head. "What are your goals in life?" He asked, because that was something that he was genuinely interested in. Of course it was slightly used as a coverup right now, but he was interested. "Ah, right. That's where that is. A bit awkward, maybe. But I suppose it must be covered in flowers now. Everyone loves you." He pressed his lips together. "Yeah, I suppose I will. Unless...you want the company."

Of course he could try, but this was how Tony worked. When he had dark periods, they were dark. Very, very dark. And it was hard for him to find the light. But he did, eventually. Something would just have to kick him in the right direction. "Yeah." But it was lonely. He had considered returning to his old self of sex and booze with peoples whose name he wouldn't remember, but the one night he had almost gone out, he had thought of Steve, and had ended up working through the night.

From:

oldschoolpatriot

"It won't last. Once I go back to New York I'll have more responsibilities." He nudged Tony lightly with an elbow. "You drop everything and go places. You did it for me for London. I haven't forgotten that." He would never forget that trip. It changed a lot of things for him, especially when it came to Tony. "Right now, fight the good fight and make this team work. That might change with time."

He nodded, "There was a crowd. I spent some time talking to people and signing autographs. A lot of people took pictures with phones. I got a lot of questions about everyone, a lot about you." There were a lot of questions about them but Steve didn't say anything about that. "I would like company. At least grab a bite to eat with me before you have to go back."

Steve liked the open road, but it was a little lonely. Almost everyone he met referred to him as Captain America, not Captain Rogers or Steve. He missed friends he could talk to as the man, not the symbol. Tony had always treated him like that and he made Steve comfortable, they had to fix whatever awkwardness lingered between them.

From:

fbitchesgtmoney

"You don't have to go back to New York if you don't want to, you know. You could go anywhere you wanted. See the world. You should see the world. It's big." Tony shifted a bit at the nudge, though mostly just to make a show of it. "I only drop things when they're important to me." Like he is. "And I have to deal with the consequences when I get back. Paperwork and meetings and all that are still waiting for me when I return, whenever that is." But he does really wish he could just drop everything for a month or two, and do nothing. He went to meetings when he had to, even now, though Pepper had been getting him out of most. He nodded at Steve's words then. "What about goals for yourself? Not taking anyone else into consideration. What do you want?"

"You're the fan favourite, from what I can tell, it's just gotten worse now." But he gives Steve a fond smile then, and reaches up to ruffle his hair a bit, just to make it fall out of place. He adores it like that. "Oh? What about me? And what did you say?" He's curious if they've asked about them. He's had questions about them. And he wants to know what Steve is saying, before he says anything. "I suppose I could do that. Something cozy."

His hand slowly slid over to cover Steve's, and it stayed there for a minute as a frown took over his features. Like he was thinking of how to say something, but didn't know how. He opened his mouth a few times to start, but nothing came out. He bit his lip and sucked lightly on it before finally looking up at him. "Did..." He paused and looked away again, because he was just atrocious at articulating his feelings. "Did you mean what you said?"

From:

oldschoolpatriot

"New York is the only place I've ever considered home. I couldn't live anywhere else. I saw enough of the world in the war." He was, at heart, a kid from Brooklyn and always would be. He wanted to settle in New York and make a home there. It was where his heart was. He ducked his head, smiling a little at Tony. He knew that it meant he was important to Tony. It made him want to come home when Tony talked like that. "Maybe one day I'll kidnap you." It was a vague idea right now, just to take Tony away from the things pressing down on him. "Me? I want to fit in during this time. I want family and friends again."

"I guess that's what I get for coming back like I did." His hair was already pretty messed from the wind. He hadn't worn a helmet for most of the ride. He tried to fix it with a hand but it was impossible at this point. "I, uh, told them we're good friends. I didn't know what to say. I kind of froze." He sighed heavily. "And I didn't want to say anything until I talked to you about what we're saying."

He looked over at Tony as he turned over his hand and held on to his. He missed the friendly way they used to touch each other and how easy it had been. He missed the callouses on Tony's hands, all the scars and the texture of them against his skin. "Which part of what I said?"

From:

fbitchesgtmoney

"Not even California? Or. Anywhere else in the US?" Because be it as it may, where he had made his home had been California, after all. The Avengers business kept him in New York, but he had been thinking about going back to California now that their merry band had gone their separate ways. Shouldn't that mean he could too? But something was keeping him attached to New York. Someone. "You could probably do that, too. Take down all my security and throw me over your shoulder and run away." He let out a soft laugh then. "You have friends. All the Avengers. The ones you've made. And I suppose they're sort of your family too. Unless you mean like, finding a wife and kids and all."

"All stars and stripes forever." He may have set Steve's first ringtone to that. Before he had discovered the Star Spangled Man. Tony liked it when it was messed up. That's why he'd mentioned previously that he liked when he took his cowl off. "Oh." There was part of him that was disappointed, and part of him that was thankful. It was a strange mix. "What do you want to say?"

And Tony missed that too. But there had been such friction between them, and when all of them had come together that way, something had happened. Tony had wondered if perhaps it had been Loki's doing - getting them to argue amongst themselves, especially with the way Bruce had picked up the septer. But at the same time, what if there was truth behind it? It worried him. He gave Steve's hand a gentle squeeze. "You know ten men worth one of me." Because that was the one line that had stuck out to him through it all. When everything had settled, he had remembered that. And it hurt.

From:

oldschoolpatriot

"I liked California when we went. I liked your house. But New York has a lot of memories for me. I just feel comfortable there until I adjust." It had been nice staying with Tony out there. The house had so many windows and such great light. He had loved the view, but the only reason he would ever stay there was Tony. If there wasn't Tony, New You would be home. "I would ask them politely first. Besides, when you're with me, you're safe. I wouldn't let anyone hurt you." Of course he'd lay down his life for Tony without a second thought. "Eventually, I would like kids. I could really mother hen then."

He chuckled softly. "Yeah, especially with that uniform." He leaned his head back, looking up at the sky and thought about his answer before he said anything. "I told you before I don't want to hide. I don't, I just hate what the public will do with it. They'll say a lot of things that aren't true. I want to tell them we're together."

If they were still together. After what happened on the helicarrier, Steve wasn't so sure. The thing between them had been so new and apparently so fragile, Steve didn't know if it had gotten through that fight and New York intact. He wanted it back. He didn't want to lose it already. "You are a terrible soldier, Tony, but you're a great hero. I wanted the Avengers to be the Commandos and they weren't. I got... lost in time and all the new things around me. I didn't mean it, though. I was just... hurting and angry." He sighed and closed his eyes. "I'm sorry, Tony. I crossed a line."

From:

fbitchesgtmoney

"I understand that. It has a lot of memories for me, too." Though most of his weren't good ones. Of his father and growing up. It had a special place in his heart, nostalgia he tried to ignore, but it was always there. Always present. But California was his. And where Stark Industries was. He was going to return to it all one day. He had to, after all. "I know, I know. But they're just something I'm stuck with. Happy, at least. He's saved my life before, I'm sure he would do it again, and so he's always around." It is sweet what Steve is saying, but he knows he'll always be flanked by two to four bodyguards. They're luckily professionals, and know when to disappear, and when to reappear again. "You would." He notes the avoidance of mentioning a wife. Hm.

"It's a symbol of who you are, and the country. It's fitting. And I'm not letting go the eagle yet." He ran his thumb over Steve's fingers as he spoke. "You need to think carefully about it, Steve. We haven't exactly been hiding it, which is fine, but if we go out and publicly announce it, there's going to be a media circus around it. You're going to lose almost all your privacy. At least when it comes to your personal life. And it'll just be worse than if you dated some nice, young, pretty American girl. Since I'm me. And male." He let out a soft sigh, and looked at the ground. "Are you sure?"

Tony wasn't sure either. Not that he didn't want to be, but what if those things that Steve had said had been what he really felt? That he had just been overcome with grief of losing all his family and friends, and had latched onto the first person who had lavished him in attention and praise? Tony didn't know how to deal with feelings. Or first fights. Or relationships. Which added to the fragility of it all. "Great start there, thanks Steven, "he said with a dry laugh, shaking his head a bit. But he squeezed his hand as he listened. "I tried to tell you I wasn't a long time ago. You're the only soldier of the group. Clint and Natasha are there own brand of special, and then there's you and Thor - though he's more of a warrior than a soldier. I think they're different."

And then he huffed a bit. "And then there's me. And Bruce. And we're men who've had our lives nearly ruined by an event, him with the gamma rays, and me with the shrapnel trying to get to my heart, and we've had to learn to live with something foreign inside us. You know I wasn't really trying to get him to go all Hulk just for fun, right? I wanted him to understand that he could control it. That even though it was a part of him, it wasn't something he should fear. Because if you let the monster inside you control you, then you're never going to be able to function properly, true to who you are. And everyone has monsters."

From:

oldschoolpatriot

"Maybe when it gets cold and ugly in January, I'll get you to take me to California for some sun." He wanted to be in New York for Christmas but after that, he could get a little tired of the slush and how gray the city got. "Mr. Hogan is really nice. I like him." Steve was grateful they gave them privacy. He wasn't terribly comfortable with an audience. "Kids are great Tony."

"You just like how I look in it." He squeezed his hand. It was nice to fall back into the teasing and friendship that had been so easy before. He licked his lips. "What's going to happen when we go to that race? People will see us together and assume things. That would be worse than coming out and saying yes, we're together. I'm not always going to enjoy the spotlight but I'm not giving this up just because it'll be a circus."

Steve wanted to fix this if it was broken. He would really have nothing if he didn't keep Tony as his friend, his partner. It would hurt to be alone again. "I'm not always good at speeches. Most of my lines were written for me." He shrugged. "Clint and Natasha are agents, which are almost soldiers. They're good in a fight and warrior or soldier Thor understands the brotherhood that builds between people in battle."

"You and Dr. Banner are... are part of something now." He looked seriously at Tony, trying to will him to understand. "You're not alone in this anymore. Neither of you. I don't know him as well. I... I didn't trust him to control it. I couldn't take the risk with all those innocent people. I didn't trust you either which was a mistake."

From:

fbitchesgtmoney

"Unfortunately it gets a little bit cold in California too. Not to the point where there's multiple feet of snow in New York, but it's jacket and pants weather. But if you want to go somewhere sunny, you'll just have to tell me where, and I can arrange it." Tony hadn't spent Christmas in New York in years. The truth was, his Christmases were rather dull. He'd have a party a week or so before, for show, but Christmas day itself he usually spent it in his workshop. Pepper would most often come by for a bit, but he mostly spent it alone. "He is. You should sparr with him sometime. Natasha kicked his ass once." And then he wrinkled his nose just a bit. "Kids are carriers for disease and sickness."

Tony wasn't sure if it even could have been broken. They'd never discussed their relationship, not fully, it had just happened, and now it had gone awry. He would never shun Steve, but he didn't know how well they would work together with everything that had surfaced then. "Oh? I'm disappointed now. You do orders well, though." He nodded slowly as he listened to Steve speak, because it made sense, even if he wasn't apart of it. "They've all been in a lot of battles."

His brow wrinkled together as Steve spoke, because while he was listening, it was still difficult to really believe. "None of you trusted him to come back. I did, because I knew he would see reason." He knew that if he could wrangle his monster, than so could Bruce. Bruce and him were alike - they understood each other on a level that went unspoken. It was a nice feeling, but occasionally he wished he could explain it. "I know what I'm doing, when I do something."

"Bruce's change. It's a gift, not a curse like everyone else seems to think it is. A gift, blessing in disguise, but one nonetheless, because he can manipulate it. He has the brainpower for that, and the right heart. And that's what Erskine said about you. Why he picked a bony assed kid from Brooklyn with a tapestry of illnesses for the program, over someone better suited. You had the right heart. And Bruce has the right heart control the beast." He admired Bruce. That much was obvious. He admired his control of the beast, because that was something he had yet to find with his own. "He probably has more control over his monster than anyone else in our little group."

From:

oldschoolpatriot

"Cold in California is not New York cold. It'll feel warm to me." Steve was only a little worried how he'd feel about cold after being trapped in the ice for so long. It was hard enough when he caught a chill to shake off the feeling. He would try though, to soldier through what the cold would do to him. "Natasha can kick my ass. Happy shouldn't feel bad for losing." He laughed deeply at Tony's expression. "Kids are great. Kids love Iron Man."

He was an optimist and a soldier, willing to fight for the things he believed in. He felt that this thing between them could be fixed or started again, stronger than before because now they were talking. "I am a good soldier, but sometimes the orders aren't good. Sometimes, you've got to do the right thing over your orders." He was glad Tony seemed to get it this time, what Steve was trying to say. "We all have, different kinds of battles."

"None of us knew him like you. We had to learn, Tony, that's all." He squeezed Tony's hand, eyes intent on him while he spoke. It baffled him how sometimes Tony could be so good with people and so observant and at others always say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing. He was so confusing that way.

"You see it that way, but that doesn't mean he does." He ducked his head, embarrassed and touched Tony had figured out what was important about him. That line about everything coming from a bottle had hurt even though he knew it wasn't true. He had known for years what made him special. "Tony, you don't have to convince me anymore. Yes, I didn't get it or see it like you did back then but I do now. I'm sorry for the mistakes I made on the carrier and the things I said in anger. Maybe it was Loki's influence, maybe it was just my PTSD. I don't know, but I'm sorry for it. We have something good in the Avengers and when the world needs us, we'll make it right again."

From:

fbitchesgtmoney

"True. We can go there whenever you start to freeze. Or we can go to the Bahamas, or Australia, or wherever. Say the name and I'll have a plane." Tony hadn't thought that would be a concern, but if Steve mentioned it, he would come to understand it. He noticed he wasn't fond of being cold, and that he sometimes got a chill, but he wasn't sure how bad it got. And with that he let out a snort of laughter. "Natasha's a firecracker, that's for sure." Ugh no, stop Steve. "They're smelly. And messy. And sticky. And they touch things they're not supposed to. Kinda like Clint. But they do love me. I am very cool."

Tony would. Eventually. Because he did care for Steve. He wanted it to work. He didn't want to have gone through emotions and feelings for naught. "Your orders worked well for us." And then he smiled just a bit - a hint of one. "We do indeed."

"And yet I had just met him all the same." But it had been instantaneous with him. Trusting him. He could see him. He couldn't understand how, but there had been something about him - the self deprecating humor, the reactions he had to things. He could see that all the others walked on eggshells around him, and he decided immediately that he wasn't going to do it, because he had hated when people did it to him with his heart. It was a part of him, and he couldn't hide it, so why should he?

"He will." Tony was determined to, well, not make him see it, but help him see it. Anyone could tell that Steve had a good heart, even without reading his file. But he couldn't just say that. That would make it seem like he had been paying too close attention to him. "I know, but, I'm just saying." He gave his hand another gentle squeeze. "I...I didn't. What I said about everything good in you coming from a bottle. That was just me upset."

From:

oldschoolpatriot

"Could we go to Hawaii? I'd like to see Pearl Harbor, what it's become." He had been there on his first press tour, when it was still mostly smoking wreckage and a shocking, grim reminder of the war Bucky as fighting. He chuckled at Tony's views on children. He probably had never spent much time with them, that was all. "Clint has a better vocabulary."

He shrugged but that was a really great compliment for Steve. He liked being told he did well as a Captain. It was important to him to be a good leader to the people he trusted. "I knew how to best use our skills by then."

"That's why I need you as part of the Avengers. You sometimes see the things I can't. You're my second pair of eyes." Tony understood the things Steve didn't and if anyone asked for him to name a second in command, it would be Tony. There was no question in his mind. He trusted Tony that much.

His heart clenched a little at Tony's apology. It had hurt a lot though he refused to let it show. He had always felt Tony saw him better than anyone else, maybe that was how he knew right where to poke to hurt him. "Everyone was upset. I still think it might have been Loki a little bit."

From:

fbitchesgtmoney

"Of course we can, if that's where you want to go. I've been there a few times, but it'd be different to go with you." Especially if they went to Pearl Harbor. Of course he had been - who hadn't if they'd been to Hawaii? But it would definitely be different if he went with Steve. It was a beautiful memorial, after all. Steve should see things like that. It was true. Tony hadn't spent much time with children. But he had seen them. And he wasn't a fan. "Sometimes. Not always."

"You learned quickly. You're good at that. Seeing the situations. I just...throw myself in things and blow stuff up." But he did it with tact. He was just better at figuring things out as he went along with them. He smiled at dropped his gaze again when Steve called him his second pair of eyes, because he had assumed Thor would be the second in command. Or Natasha. She seemed to be well versed in following orders, so surely she could give them, too. "I'm your eyes in the sky, is all."

He turned then to look at Steve, reaching up to touch his hair, pushing it back from his face, and then leaning in to press their lips together. It started off soft and gentle, soft, as if it's unfamiliar territory; but his other hand came up quickly to wrap around him with one in his hair, and the other around his neck, and him almost climbing onto him)

From:

oldschoolpatriot

"We can stop in Malibu for a few days on the way back if you want too." He might need a few days to deal with revisiting those memories. The war was still a living thing. He looked affectionately for Tony. He knew he was good friends with Clint. The two were like peas in a pod. He would have to make sure those two didn't get in too much trouble. "True, but if you like Clint you just might like kids too."

"A plan of attack beyond attack is a good idea in most situations." There was a little part of him that admired the fearless, insane way Tony just threw himself into battle. The wiser part of his recognized it for the death wish it was and something he would keep a close eye on. Tony could be a very valuable asset in battle but her personality was a little volatile at times. "You're more than that."

He smiled against Tony's lips for the little moment of sweet and gentle. He didn't get like that very often. Then things changed and his breath caught in his chest as Tony was suddenly there practically in his lap and wrapped around him right there on the side of the road. He felt a rush of heat and want, so new and yet so familiar when it came to Tony. He cupped Tony's face in his hands as he kissed him back.

From:

fbitchesgtmoney

"We can stay there as long as you want, too. Island hop a bit. Relax on a beach. It'd be nice. Take a vacation. It's been a while since I had a real vacation that wasn't all partying." Yes, him and Clint had found great pleasure in each other, though Clint did follow orders better than he did. But they had bonded over pranking and innuendos, and had fun. "I tolerate Clint, and if I have to, I'll tolerate children."

Tony wrinkled his nose then and shook his head, he disagreed just a bit, but he understood that Steve was used to planning and figuring out a tactic before jumping into the heat of battle. Tony thought better on his feet. It wasn't always intended to be a death wish, but it was, sometimes. He could understand why Steve would think such a thing "I appreciate you saying that."

He forced himself to pull away after a minute, panting, and his cheeks had taken on a slight red colour, though whether it was a flush or a blush was hard to tell. He swallowed and reached up to rub the back of his neck. "I. Sorry. I've..." He frowned a looked away again. "When are you coming home?"

From:

oldschoolpatriot

"As long as you had fun I think it counts as a real vacation." The closest Steve had ever gotten before were trips out to Coney Island and leave during the war. He'd never had any really exciting vacations. He hummed to himself at Tony's comment. He'd take tolerating children. It was a good start.

"I'm not just saying it. I mean it." He was going to have to work on getting Tony to see his own value. He could see Dr. Banner's so clearly, but his own was a mystery. Steve didn't know how that worked.

He chased after Tony's lips for one more kiss. He had missed that. "Don't apologize. You've got nothing to apologize for." He wanted to pull Tony back in, but settled for sliding an arm around him. It was hard to tell how Tony would react when he was trying to get away and Steve didn't let him. "I wasn't planning on it until I reached California. But I could come back early."

From:

fbitchesgtmoney

"I suppose. Let me rephrase: I haven't had a relaxing vacation in a while. Better?" He flashed Steve a smile and patted his hand. Steve would have to introduce him to non smelly-sticky children, and he might eventually warm up to them. (also that would be the cutest rp of all time)

"Yeah." Which didn't sound like he believed it, but he wasn't going to say that straight out. It was always harder to see the value in oneself over the value in others.

"I shouldn't have done that. Without asking. We're not..." Together? Or were they? But then Steve's arm was around him, and he was looking up at him, a mix of emotions playing across his face. "Or are we?" He looked away again, and shook his head. "No. No you should...Go to California. It'll do you some good to get out and see the country. Don't stop for me."

From:

oldschoolpatriot

"Then I'll have to make sure you have one." He liked a challenge like that. Tony would have to get used to kids because Steve wanted them. He would love to have a brood of his own. (Yes, yes it would.)

Steve would spend a lot of time making him believe it. It was true and he would make him see it.

"Can we be?" Steve tried not to look too hopeful, but he had thought maybe they were together. Maybe after everything they could fix this and be together. He still wanted Tony, that he knew. He had thought Tony still wanted him too after that kiss. "I'd rather see it with you. It been lonely."

From:

fbitchesgtmoney

"We can go somewhere with a private beach. That way you can walk around naked, letting it all hang out. That'll be good for you. And me." Steve would probably be the only one who could get him to stand them, and maybe even like them eventually. If Steve wanted children. Well. If it was true love, he would too, right?

"Is that what you want?" Tony glanced at him, and smiled wryly. His hand grasped Steve's again. "Even though I'm self obsessed, volatile, and prone to self destruction? And I've had sex with more women than I can remember?" He squeezed Steve's hand. "And kind of want to fuck Loki?" He turned and looked at Steve, and leaned in to give him another gentle kiss. "I'm a mess, Steve. I've been drunk since you left. That's usually how I am in May. And in August. And sometimes December." He rubbed the back of his neck again. He always did when he felt uncomfortable. "Sometimes I need to be a mess, though. It helps me cope. It's my monster."

He licked his lips, and tilted his head ever so slightly. "Are you sure you're going to be okay with that?"

From:

oldschoolpatriot

"Still determined to get me naked, huh?" He chuckled, glad to see that hadn't changed. That was more like the Tony he knew. "A private beach sounds nice. I can't get sunburned anymore so it won't matter what I wear or don't wear." Tony was probably one of those parents who only liked their own kids and thought everyone else's were the devil's work. Steve would prove it to him.

"I want to try." He didn't have a chance before to try with Peggy. He didn't want to pass up a chance with Tony. "Can't say I'm happy about the Loki thing, but the rest of it I'd like to help you with. Maybe I can help you through it, make it easier or something." He was a soldier and he knew what a mess war could make people. What Tony had been through, that could certainly mess a person up.

"I'm okay with you, Tony." He leaned in and kissed him. "I wouldn't be here if I wasn't."

From:

fbitchesgtmoney

"Of course I am. Nothing could change that." Of course that wouldn't change. And he was trying to make the situation seem lighter. It had taken a heavy turn, and now he wanted to bring it up again. "Perfect. Then you can just be in charge of keeping me sun screened, and we'll be good." That is very likely how it would be. He would be disappointed if they weren't smart like he is, though. But either way, his girls would be sheltered, and his boys obviously not.

Tony smiled when Steve said that, and nodded. "Well. It's not like that's going to happen. He's just fascinating to me. It's not going to happen. It's just something my mind has decided to be interested in. Can't always explain it." He nodded slowly, the smile on his face small and soft. He was grateful for what Steve was saying, even if he was struggling to understand it fully. But Steve was different from anyone else he knew.

"So...you and me." He was cut off by the kiss, and let out a soft, happy sigh. "My partner?"

From:

oldschoolpatriot

"I think I can arraign that for you." It was always easy to joke with Tony. He guess that things had gotten too serious for him just then and he needed the escape. Steve was fine with it. He had said what he needed to say. "Sounds like a task I can manage."

He didn't get it, but he didn't fully understand his own attraction to Tony sometimes. Men were new to him. "Call me old fashioned Tony, but if you're with me you're just with me. I have a bit of a jealous streak." And he would have a hard time controlling it if he ever saw anyone really make a move for Tony while they were together.

"Yeah, your partner works for me." He smiled at him, happy for the first time in a long time.